are you so shy because you have an std?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
this just has baby written all over it
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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