Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
