and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
