Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
