were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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