This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
