Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
