It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize