I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize