I just pynch a tree in the face
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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