Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
