no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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