We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
