i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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