If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
