If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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