Joe is yelling at the trees again.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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