I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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