O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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