Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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