Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
