He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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