..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
