I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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