I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it's like iHOP with fire
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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