I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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