The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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