She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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