I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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