i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
