i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
