If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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