Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
