no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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