His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
