Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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