Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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