Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We are all done wearing pants today
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