why didn't you poke me back
I hope mine doesn't look like that
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
