Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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