You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
