My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We are two peas in an std pod
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
