But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
