I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
