Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
