O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
