I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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