Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
