we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
