my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
