things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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