I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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