Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
