Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
