They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
