I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
