Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
