I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
