My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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