the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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