I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
