Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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