i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
