just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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