i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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