I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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