Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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