Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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