and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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