is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
