Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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