fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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