oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Randomize
