So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
